Welcome To Portsmouth, Ohio
Ohio's Forgotten Town
Everyone has a hometown where we grew up or have memories as a child. It's seems more often than not in America our hometowns are unreconizable compared to our memories from childhood. This sadly is also the case for Portsmouth, Ohio.
The reason this website exists is to remind everyone how places in America are forgotten and completely ignored by the rest of this country's politicians and our government. All the WSAZ's and CNN's all blame it on drugs of course. It's easy to say drugs and addicts are why this town is in the shape it's in.
It's much more horrifying to admit pain-clinic's and pill-mills made millions if not billions of dollars through here because officials and other higher status members of society was profiting off of them. The war on drugs is a joke everyone reading this takes a drug everyday in sugar its not black-tar heroin but still it alters your mind just a tiny bit as well as the caffeine in your morning coffee.
No matter what side your on because humans have to be on stupid teams like "Left" or "Right", you have to admit the war on drugs failed. The Mexican Cartels now have more liquid cash than the Mexico government. And 100,000's men and women that are non-violent offenders are spending decades of they're lives inside America's very profit driven Prison System.
This city was built by the shoe lace factory and local steel factories all along the Ohio River by and for workers decades ago. With the twisted greed of CEO's all of those steel factories are now gone and moved to a country where they can have employees be overworked and underpaid, this way the company continues to increase profits each financial quarter.

Here in 2024 modern America we value the dollar more than life or happiness. This has unforseen consequences to the normal man and woman in these small towns who have had the only jobs that can provide financial stable living ripped out from underneath them. What's left for the people of my city to make a living and survive are gas stations and fast-food businesses that pay slave wages. Not to mention the fast-food is killing the citizens even faster from obesity.
How could I forget SOMC or Southern Ohio Medical Center.
Ironically other than Wal-Mart it is the main business that's keeping this town on economic life-support. And of course this hospital stays extremely busy around the clock dealing with all the overdoses & drug-related issues. And of course all the complications that come from eating terrible nutrition and a life-time of alcoholism that keeps getting passed down generation to generation in this area.

Drugs Are Not Abused Here.....
Drugs Are Loved & Cared For.
Portsmouth, OH, a bustling city located on the outskirts of the United States, has been known for years as the go-to place for the best drugs around. Whether it’s cannabis, cocaine, methamphetamine, or any other drug you can think of, Portsmouth, OH is the place to find it.
Firstly, Portsmouth, OH is known for its high-quality drugs. The city is home to some of the most skilled and experienced drug manufacturers, who take great pride in their work. They use the best raw materials available, and employ state-of-the-art techniques to produce drugs that are pure and potent. The drugs manufactured in Portsmouth, OH are so good that they have earned a reputation for being among the best in the world.

Secondly, the city has a thriving drug culture. Drug use is not frowned upon in Portsmouth, OH, and in fact, it is celebrated. There are numerous clubs and events dedicated to drug use, where people can come together and enjoy their favorite substances in a safe and controlled environment. The city also has a large number of drug-friendly establishments, such as bars and cafes, where patrons are free to indulge in their drug of choice.

Finally, Portsmouth, OH is a city where drugs are readily available. The city has a large number of dealers, who operate openly and without fear of prosecution. It is easy to find drugs in Portsmouth, OH, and they are often sold at a lower price than in other parts of the country. This is due to the fact that there is a high demand for drugs in Portsmouth, OH, and the large number of suppliers helps keep prices competitive.

There's More Than One Fish In The Bowl
So you just got off of your under-paid back-breaking job at the local Wendy's or maybe the non-stop Taco-Bell and it's Friday night. You dread going home to either your over-weight wife or husband and need some nightly company that won't gross you out even when ur intoxicated.
There isn't a sea of fish in our lovely town, It's more like a small fish bowl that's full of 2 month old untreated old water full of a whole eco-system of bacteria and disease.
For the ladies out there maybe here you can find the one, he usually is always sitting at the bar with his license suspended and telling the same story for the 4th time that day about how he was the best quarter-back in his whole high school 32 years ago.
Or your a man and just looking to have a night with a lady friend.
(Just please for the love of GOD bring protection!)
Both kind for that matter we don't need anymore kids to grow up here.
As well as some kind of weapon just in case she tries to rob you.
You will thank me later.

Just A Single's Sampler For You!
Chester
Now Ladies if your sick of all these sensitive and complaining men, and you want a real "man's man". Look no further than Chester who only has 4 domestic violence charges on his record. Chester is a simple man just looking for the one who will love him back for who he is. That being a full-blown alcoholic, but that love he gives to that bottle every morning to stop his uncontrollable shakes could be the love he gives to you after he of course stops shaking.
Chester made it very clear that he wants a "sturdy and tough woman". Not really sure what he meant by that but he did enlighten me on something else. That is what other people call bruises and cuts, Chester explained that they are really "Love Marks!" So to remind his special girl how much he loves her that he even gets "love marks" all the time on his hands because she will love him back just as much!
Sarah
That's right Gentlemen this blonde knockout is single and right here in Portsmouth, OH! Sarah needs someone to be there for her through everything a normal couple goes through. Like being falsely accused of check fraud and child neglect. She wants you to know the only reason people have said these things about her is because they are jealous of her, because she is one of the only women that isn't over-weight in her town.
Sarah has experienced all types of guys, and at this point she wants to settle down with a very good-hearted, well-paid, naive man. Well actually not just Sarah what I meant to say was her and all 6 of her kids all just 10 months apart. I think she has 6 but not 100% sure because the kids usually sit in the car while Sarah is making all the men go crazy and doing her thing at the bar.
Billy "Big Britches"
First of all, I would like to appoligize for his profile picture. Billy basically wouldn't do the photo unless I captured all of his glory with his shirt off. With that outta the way I would like for you to know few things about Billy.
Dispite his incredible and impressive physique he moves with the grace of a majestic gazelle! He is living proof of how the "Portsmouth, OH Diet" can change your life for the better. He will usually be at the bar for days at a time due to the fact that he can no longer fit in his Ford Taurus from him cultivating mass. And with him living 2 blocks away there's no way he would want to waste his time walking.
So ladies if you thought it couldn't get any better Billy also comes with at least $750 worth of food-stamps EVERY MONTH! So if you get cold easily and have a one-story apartment or home Billy could be yours today!

Travis
Ok maybe your just sick and tired of men and how they are biologically wired to want to get physical with every attractive female they meet. Because it makes total sense to be with only one person for the rest of your life, that's why 7-10 of all marriages end in divorce. Anyways this isn't about our fairy-tale outlook on relationships and sex, this is about Travis and he is single and ready to mingle.
Now Travis isn't special or really good at anything at all. He can't even manage to control his weight or anything in his life. What sets him apart is he will be there for you girl emotionally. Where most intelligent men would just leave the house after an hour of screaming and fighting. Travis will be there every step of the way screaming and blowing everything outta proportion long until the morning hours.
As well he will monitor your every step and location not because of his own insecurities, only because he is so protective of you he will treat you like his property and not a human being. This makes Travis one hell of a catch if your sick of men wanting to sleep with other girls, and need a partner that is 24/7 attached to you and co-dependant because they are scared to be alone. Remember he is not like the rest and is special because he identifies as the letter "Z".
We Got The Best at Portsmouth Preg-Oh No More

Now I know what your thinking and before you jump to conclusions and leave the website and go make a long self-serving post on Facebook. Hear me out for a minute.
Welcome to "Portsmouth Preg-Oh No More" Clinic, the nation's top-rated abortion clinic where choice meets excellence and care comes with a smile. Our clinic is renowned for its state-of-the-art facilities, exceptional patient care, and a unique approach that blends professionalism with a touch of a good time.
At the helm of our esteemed clinic is Dr. Casey Anthony, a compassionate and highly skilled physician dedicated to providing the highest quality care in a supportive and comfortable environment. Dr. Anthony, with her extensive experience and warm demeanor, ensures that every patient feels heard, respected, and empowered throughout their visit.

Just ask Casey About your options depending on your Income and Life Situation!
The Only Place To Shop!!!

This Wal-Mart is not just a store; it's the town's veritable amusement park, social hub, and therapeutic retreat all rolled into one, much like a Fucked-Up retail Swiss Army knife.
What makes this Wal-Mart so unique, you ask? Well, it's not just the fluorescent lights or the mazes of aisles stocked with everything from groceries to firearms. No, what truly makes this retail haven stand out is its unique customer base, a kaleidoscope of individuals ranging from the bewildered to the downright bizarre, all seemingly under the influence of some sort of substance – be it consumerism or something a bit more mind-altering.
Do You Need A Job?
* Are you tired of a normal sleep schedule?
* Do you love soul-crushing labor under fluorescent lights?
* Do you enjoy making minimum wage while all the managers receive bonuses for your blood, sweat, and tears?
The "Benefits"
- Competitive wages (if you consider "competition" meaning "barely surviving")
- A free gym membership (a.k.a. moving 50lb boxes for 10 hours straight)
- Exclusive access to the mysterious break room microwave that hasn't been cleaned since 1998
- A chance to bond with coworkers over mutual despair and hopelessness!
What to Expect?
- Clock in at 10 PM and managers forget you exist—until something goes wrong.
- Need a bathroom break? That’s cute. Get back to work.
- Feeling tired? Don’t worry, the delirium kick in soon and will keep you entertained.
How to Lose Your Job in 1 Easy Step
- Report mistreatment. How dare you expect to be treated like a human being?

Apply today! Or don’t! Either way, Wal-Mart will still make billions while you struggle to afford gas.